They say never give up on people. That sounds like an ideal situation to me. Almost some kind of uptopia. It also feels incredibly draining. If we all gave up on each other, what kind of world would it be? It wouldn’t be a good place to live that’s for sure. When do you know when to walk away from an emotionally unhealthy situation?
If you love someone and they continue to hurt and lie to you, where and when do you finally draw the line? In persevering with someone in the hope that things will eventually change, are we unwittingly opening ourselves up to abuse? When do we reach our limit and when is enough enough?
I have been through experiences with people in my life who have ended up hurting me constantly because I gave them too many chances. Then I start thinking to myself, ‘If I don’t persevere with them, then who will?’ Perhaps I care too much in the wrong ways or something.` How do you know when to walk away from people who are just using you?
I suppose you just know after a while intuitively. When you have been hurt so much, you simply cannot take it anymore. Walking away is something you end up having to do rather than wanting to do. Sometimes, you can only learn the hard way or not at all.
I often think about the the gurus and sages of our time. Jesus, Ghandi, the Buddha. Did they ever feel, I wonder completely and utterly tired and fed-up of watching people destroy themselves through addictions and negative behaviour? Of watching people speaking ill of and hurting others? Where did they acquire their great compasssion and strength and did they ever feel angry? Perhaps they did not deliberately try to change people. They must have simply lead by example and hoped for the best.
All we can do is our very best to make the world a better place and not trust to hoping anything will ever change. If it changes, fantastic. If not, then so be it. People who are receptive to healing and change will certainly walk through the door when the time is right. Ourselves included.
Love without conditions. Perhaps I want something selfishly for myself. Maybe that’s why I get hurt. I want something I simply cannot have. In that case, my love on certain occasions is conditional. No pain, no gain I suppose.
We may have to give up on others for whatever reason in life by walking away. Some things don’t or cannot change for many reasons. We do not have the right to be judge and jury either. Life is complex and we may often pass judgement on others which is completely wrong and unfair. It is only our opinion. Preserving one’s personal strength and emotional health comes first. I would say…don’t deliberately try to change things. If you can change somehow and you have the capacity to do so, then do it. As long as we don’t give up on ourselves, we’ll do the world proud in our own unique way.
That’s all any of us can ever do.
© Christina McDonald 2014