In praise of ‘FFS’….Why swearing feels like the most natural thing in the world (to me anyway!)

We’ve all been told before ‘Don’t swear! I don’t like to hear you speak like that, it’s very bad’. I’ll tell you what IS bad. What IS bad is stubbing your toe on the door of the bathroom and saying nothing to relieve the absolute shock and anger that you’ve just managed to ruin your day before its even started. ‘Oh golly gosh’ doesn’t seem to work really. Lets face it – we all swear. I personally love swearing when the time is right. It’s a fact of life. In our most difficult moments, we have to get our anger and frustration out somehow.

It would be very unnatural if we didn’t swear at all. There is something so therapeutic about emphasising the ‘f’ and the ‘k’ that rids us of the somewhat troublesome pent up annoyance we all feel when the fates are against us for whatever reason. (Actually, my mum remembers the very first day I used a swear word and I said it straight after she did sitting in my carrier chair in the back seat when another car nearly hit our car at the traffic lights – it was b*****d!) (I couldn’t have been any older than 5 or 6 at the time!) I started young….

My personal top 10 best swearing moments:

1) Stubbing a toe hard on the bathroom door (like I did recently). That was a major cursing moment!

2) Laddering a brand new pair of tights whilst you’re putting them on….(BRAND new!)

3) Realising your employer hasn’t put your money in on time…on the very day you have about 20 direct debits and standing orders exiting your account which puts you overdrawn and incurs more sodding bank charges.

4) A sudden loud noise that makes you drop hot tea/coffee all over your legs

5) Breaking yet ANOTHER umbrella in the middle of severely wet and windy weather

6) Leaving a warm, comfortable house and into the pouring rain, thinking you are arriving to the supermarket on time to get that loaf of bread only to realise they close early on a Sunday

7) Someone who has just sneezed without covering their mouth all over a crowded bus…(nowhere to run).

8) Flight delay/cancellation (in fact ANYTHING to do with travel going wrong – including lost luggage).

9) Thinking you have the day off work when your employer tells you ‘actually you’re supposed to be in today…yeah…sorry about that’ 🙂

10) Losing your debit/credit cards and/or phone

What are your favourite swearing moments?

Let me know!

© Christina McDonald 2014